Know Kidding
email me
August 20, 2004
Sign InView Entries
Porn Star to Military:  "Bullets, Not Boobs"

Porn stars ae getting sensitive.  Either that or they're acting to preserve a key market differentiator.

A bunch of X-rated queens, led by former California gubernatorial candidate Mary Carey, staged a protest in Hollywood against artificial breast implants and, more to the point, the military's policy of offering free boob jobs to female cadets.  Great idea for a signing bonus, but what about the guys?  Maybe they get a free peek at the deliverable(s).

To drive the point home, Mary decided to unveil her (allegedly) natural mammaries for the protestees, many of whom requested a closer look to truly appreciate the bounty of nature.
Jeff Goldthorp's Slightly Bizarre But True Current Events Site
Old News
Let Me Kow What You Think!
Free Penis Enlargements - What does the average GI care more about than the size of his partner's breasts?  You guessed it.  Sign up for a tour of duty and get a free wang job - two inches guarenteed!  We'd have Baghdad crawling with guys hung like John Holmes and full of confidence.  Not a recipe for a quick end to the hostilities. I don't know if I'd let those Army sawbones near my seed dispenser, though.  Better a stubby, miserable shaft than a sex change.  And it looks like the female members of the service aren't the types to take your word for it.  Not only do they check, they demand precision.  Isn't 
Take a close look at Ms. Carey as depicted above.  I don't think she's being completely straight with us.  I'm not having any trouble being ompletely straight with her, though.  And I've never even seen any of her flicks.

Mary, who, as the 24-year-old star of 37 porn films, is a firm believer in self-respect, added "(w)omen should be happy with their bodies and what they're blessed  with,"  Well, Mary, we're not all equally endowed.  Most folks are content to tinker just a bit with nature, especially when it comes to things like money and sex.  Mary might be happy with her boobs, but I've got a feeling that she came up short in other departments and compromised to get an edge.  I'm just guessing, mind you.  But I think I'm right - after all, she's in the business of having sex for money.

Believe it or not '(h)er words and deeds drew cheers from a small group of men who had  gathered to watch the event. Passing cars sounded their horns in  response to a sign that read "Honk if you love natural breasts."'  Imagine - grown men hanging around a streetcorner just to watch porn stars parade around half naked!  What will they think of next.

The event was sponsored by Mark Kulkris, president of Kick Ass Pictures.  Mark is appalled at the senseless waste of taxpayer money.  "We support our military 100 percent. Part of the reason we're  protesting is that we think these tax dollars would be much better  spent on essentials (for soldiers)," Kulkis said.  Don't you think Mark is being just a little presumptuous?  How can he be so sure that the average PFC, after stomping around Baghdad's 120 degree heat in a coat of cozy body armor, wouln't prefer boobs to bullets?  Kulkris tried to top the event off by recognizing a recent honorably discharged recruit for avoiding the temptation to let the Army mess with her glands.  When invited to join Ms. Carey in her next film, the vet ', now a college student, politely said, "No, thank you.."'   You're welcome.

The protest was held outside an Army recruiting station.  What do you think they had to say about the event?  Nothing.  Actually, the Defense Department claims that the breast implant giveaway is intended to provide military doctors with a chance to pracice their skills.  I'm skeptical.  Did they ask the docs which particular skills they felt most in need of sharpening?  And did everybody say they felt just a wee bit rusty on the complicated bust enlargement procedure?  Well, let's not be too hard on the medics.  It's OK to be hard on Ms. Carey, though.  You certainly wouldn't be alone.

I understand that the situation in Iraq has made recruiting a tough sell for the armed forces.  The breast implant thing is a good angle.   What else can we think of to help the recruiting effort?  I don't know, but here are some thoughts.
A Year's Supply of Mary Carey Videos  - With full exposure (not like my wimpy site - but you never know where those kiddies will surf).  As you've probably picked up by now, Mary is very happy with her hooters as a glance at her web site will attest.  She is absolutely obsessed with the things.  But I digress.  If we can't draw the recruits in with more length (see above), how about we give them something to make the thing stand at attention?  While I can't claim to have 
that a measuring tape she's wielding?  That guy really is optimistic!  Maybe those Army doctors are onto something.
The Natural Look
experienced the wonders of Mary firsthand (and it probably only takes one, at least for me), I'm prepared to accept the distant possibility that Mary might brighten a lonely private's evening.  They'll even throw in a month at a special camp where you can get a head start on your viewing pleasure.  You might be a little too tired in the evenings for Mary's charms, though.  And that guy screaming in your face is kind of a turn-off.