In typical faux-homespun fashion, Palin announced her resignation in a rambling, erratic speech. Let's parse that speech and see if she's any more ready for higher office today than she was last summer. Come on, it'll be fun!!!
Palin opened with some happy talk: "People who know me know that besides faith and family, nothing's more important to me than our beloved Alaska. Serving her people is the greatest honor I could imagine."
Translation: Palin has been commuting to work in Juneau from her home in Wasilla - 600 miles away. And she's charging the state to live at home at a time when the State is under the same sorts of financial stress that other States are struggling with. And, if she gets her way, Alaska won't be taking any of that bad Federal stimulus money. She's been an ineffective Governor. Alaska would have been better off if she had resigned a year ago when she set her sights on the National stage.
She continued with more on her beloved Alaska: "We're strategic IN the world as the air crossroads OF the world, as a gatekeeper of the continent."
Translation: Better be nice to Alaska or Palin will suspend your flyover rights. Commercial and military flights will have to fly over Canada or west of the Aleutian Islands. Palin hasn't learned that being "strategic" isn't too meaningful if you have no authority over the strategic decisions.
Palin then itemized her accomplishments as Governor, and there are some notable ones. Speaking of AGIA (don't ask me what it stands for), she said "This is the largest private sector energy project, ever. THIS is energy independence."
Translation: The private sector (nice) is independent of the public sector (naughty) and can now fight with one another without pesky governmental interference, as God intended.
Palin went on, speaking about some other initiative of hers to liberate the good people of Alaska from government bondage, "We took government out of the dairy business and put it back into private-sector hands - where it should be."
Translation: It is a comfort to know that the State of Alaska is now safely in private-sector hands. How liberating!
Putting on her economoralist hat, Palin commented on her decision to reject Federal stimulus dollars: "I resisted those dollars because of the obscene national debt we're forcing our children to pay, because of today's Big Government spending; it's immoral and doesn't even make economic sense!"
Translation: Seventy years of national monetary policy be damned! Keynes? He's a humbug. The way to bootstrap out of a recession is to cut spending! When the private sector stops spending, the government should follow suit! When credit markets freeze up, government should hop on the bandwagon! There's a thesis in these words somewhere.
Commenting on the tremendous burden the media frenzy around her candidacy placed on Alaska's finances, Palin said "the State has wasted THOUSANDS of hours of YOUR time and shelled out some two million of YOUR dollars to respond to "opposition research"
Translation: Why am I spending State resources to respond to partisan political attacks? Hmmm . . . Call the Ethics Police.
Next Palin had an epiphany: "If I have learned one thing: LIFE is about choices!"
Translation: I didn't get that memo in Junior High.
Carrying on the revelatory thread: "Life is too short to compromise time and resources... it may be tempting and more comfortable to just keep your head down, plod along, and appease those who demand: "Sit down and shut up", but that's the worthless, easy path; that's a quitter's way out."
Translation: And quitters are never winners. Which explains what I'm about to do . . .
Recounting the family vote, Palin said "It was four "yes's" and one "hell yeah!" The "hell yeah" sealed it - and someday I'll talk about the details of that..."
Translation: In my upcoming book, which you can pre-order now on Amazon for $49.95.
Palin closed with a stirring quote - "In the words of General MacArthur, "We are not retreating. We are advancing in another direction."\
Translation: "Hey, didn't I say that" - General O. P. Smith. Actually, he did. He was the commander of the First Marine Division in the Korean War. MacArthur had nothing to do with it, but he did fade away as promised. Let's hope Palin just got her quotes mixed up.
Palin's announcements is eerily reminiscent of another past resignation, which presaged a magnificent revival and subsequence catastrophe - remember 1961 (I don't either). Here's a picture to remind you:
