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July 27, 2004
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PETA Stages Vegetarian Love-In!

There are all kinds of places I can go with this one.

First of all, I've been just waiting for an oppourtunity to take a poke at this crew.  I take the subway to work, and for months this PETA woman was shrieking  at us from the top of the escalator about some rodent whose rights had been trampled upon.  The way I see it, the thing was lucky to avoid a more serious form of trampling.  And so was the shrieker.

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Save the Whales Love-In - Whales aren't shy - they'll put on a show even if there's no cause involved.  Just toss in a couple of baskets of fish and away they go.   These two might even violoate Idaho's indecency statutes, though - I don't see any signs of cladding at all.  This production would probably violate the rules of "love-ins" - the affected species is not supposed to be the draw.  And PETA would be climbing down my throat in a millisecond if they thought I 
In Idaho, where they clearly don't have enough to do (and the PETA members have even less) the animal rights group staged a "Live Make-Out Tour" to promote vegetarian eating.  I think the AP stringer stumbled upon two of the more photogenic lunatics for this picture, but maybe the PETA members in Idaho take health and beauty more seriously than the subway wacko.  If I wasn't otherwise committed, I'd very quickly find a way to wrap my brain around whatever dogmatic swill PETA requires in order for me to hop into this scene.  Damn.  Where do I sign!

According to AP, the event featured a "scantily clad couple mak(ing) out in a bed set up on a city sidewalk."  It's meant to demonstrate PETA's claims that vegetarians are better lovers.  I think it demonstrates the simple fact that two attractive, young, half-naked, suitably motivated adults make better lovers.  I'm not getting the vegetable connection, and I'd rather not use my imagination.  Oh, but wait - "additional activists were there to pass out information about the health benefits of vegan living."  These people just can't let a moment of beauty pass unspoiled. 

Thankfully the local officials know when to just sit back and let the good times roll.  "The city welcomes public discussion on important issues and this is certainly an important issue to some," said Michael Zuzel, spokesman for Mayor Dave Bieter. "As long as they're not obstructing the sidewalk or creating a public nuisance, they're fine."   Well, they do appear to be obstructing the sidewalk but I wouldn't call it a public nuisance.  I suspect that the nuisance factor varies in inverse proportion to the scantiness of the cladding - if these two were rolling around in overcoats they'd have to chain themselves to the nearest stop sign to escape apprehension.  However, under the circumstances (see picture), though both the city and the state have public indecency laws, Zuzel said he did not believe the demonstration would violate them. Besides, he said, "political events are given more leeway in the rules."  Those founding fathers really did have their act together.

I kind of like this idea of a "Live Make-Out Tour", and I'm thinking of having some of my own to raise awareness for important, but obscure, causes.  I don't know for sure, but I c

Organic Waste Disposal Love-In  - The folks at PETA have been known to avoid life's simple pleasures, including central heating and indoor plumbing.  Despite the inherent hazards (see 7/26/04), they persist in this way of thinking.  Twenty feet from a row of port-a-pots isn't the most intimate setting, but these two seem to have overcome their fear of spontaneous combustion, not to mention the odor.  No doubt their will was stiffened by the knowledge that their efforts will promote the extinction of flush toilets and Charman.
Save The Trees Love-In - While PETA is encouraging people to sate their appetites on plant life, there's an equally large group of folks that feel just as strongly that our leafy friends are subject to repeated abuse at our capricious hands.  Plants have feelings too.  And it looks like this particularly aged specimen is about to have his woodiness tested.  Do they have Viagra for trees?  
was exploiting whales for a public sex spectable, even if it is for their own good.  It's OK for people to exhibit lack of judgement and modesty by groping semi-nude on a city sidewalk.  Charge admission to watch whales doing what comes naturally and you've committed a PETA felony.