March 29, 2010
Sarah Palin Rolls Out New Spring Lineup!
At the risk of inviting hordes of lunatic fringe tea partiers to descend on my abode with pitchforks and torches in hand I choose to blog tonight about the bizarre new twist in Sarah Palin's otherwise staid political journey.
I was sitting in my office the ot
her day, television mutely projecting images from MSNBC, when I lifted my head from the computer screen to feast my eyes upon the sight of Sarah clad in leather! Who knew she had a kinky side!
The woman will stop at nothing in her tireless quest for the oval office.
And who was that guy standing behind her, smiling sheepishly and looking very Republican in his blue blazer and slacks? None other than her running mate in 2008! They're finding new reasons to mend fences now that he's running for his life in Arizona and she's giving clearer thinking Republicans a run for their lives as 2012 approaches.
Word has it that she was heckled at the Arizona rally when she showed up in her new outfit. Well, perhaps the hecklers were onto something. After all, that American flag pin didn't have the requisite thirteen stripes and it was well shy of fifty stars. Plus she was sporting some godawful earrings that made her lobes stretch to her collarbone. But the main event was that jacket. Even I had to sit back and admire the woman for showing up onstage in that thing. Just a short spell of cognitive dissonance there - a brief moment of mental whiplash. I'm back to normal now. Or what passes for it.
OK, so I'm not being very nice, and maybe my wardrobe sucks too. But I'm not running around the country trying to scare people into believing that it's really in their interest to go without vital healthcare services to preserve fundamental American liberties. And I'm not traipsing around trying to stir up the darker embers of our collective id. This woman, I fear, is on a march to Munich.
What's next for Sarah?
Esquire - It seems to be working for Tina Fey, but nothing is not working for Tina Fey these days, is it? And these two really do seem to be seperated at birth. So why not a feature story on Sarah Palin in Esquire where she airs all her laundry? Let's hear about that Alaska trooper and her earlier wardrobe episode. An Esquire feature would introduce Sarah to a whole new slice of American voters.
Hello Kitty Leatherware - Sadly, the only Hello Kitty leatherware I could find was a purse. But it's PINK! So this little number should go down real well with the Hello Kitty crowd, but it better not make an appearance on the campaign trail. Most Hello Kitty phanatics would have their heads spin faster than Linda Blair in a blender if they saw Sarah carrying HK around.
